I live with and therefore continuously have to manage Fibromyalgia. I have realised after years of living with this condition that I find it easier to deal with the physical ramifications of the condition than with the inevitable emotional turmoil that comes with it. 

There are many levels of emotional pain with Fibromyalgia; the loneliness of experiencing physical pain, the frustration of not being as able as you once were, the worry that you are unreliable and likely to let people down, the feeling you have to dance the light fantastic between having a life and dealing with flares. 

Fibromyalgia and any chronic illness that causes exhaustion is as tough emotionally as it is physically. I have found that Fibromyalgia has left me feeling the most alone I have ever felt. No one, apart from others who have it, can ‘get it’ in a real and connected way. They can relate through feeling tired and the days when they had exhaustion after an illness, and that is helpful, but they will never understand the realities of having to face life not knowing what the day will bring physically. 

Where I find Fibromyalgia to be particularly cruel is when it is caused by surviving abuse. Conditions like Fibromyalgia are particularly found in survivors of PTSD and CPTSD. I have experience of fighting for my mental and physical survival whilst trying to heal from trauma. It is a very difficult and extremely isolating experience. To now understand the connection between fibro and trauma is a proper kick in the pants.

To live with Fibro and similar illnesses seems to demand you become emotionally resilient whilst riding a rollercoaster that is taking you any trigger it can. If you already have emotional habits that constantly feed into feelings of worthlessness, no or lack of self esteem or love, it becomes even harder to ride the rapids of finding yourself constantly needing to ask for help, deal with professionals, navigate the benefits system, and the natural physical weaknesses that come along.     . 

Clearly Spiritual Life Coaching is not a cure for Fibromyalgia however, it is a tool we can use to deal with our illness by focusing on what we are inside of the outer ramifications of the condition. Separating from other people's expectations of us and bolstering our understanding of our own situation is crucial. The theory being, by accepting ourselves as we are, understanding our different responses to pain, physical weakness and situations which leave us feeling misunderstood, our response when we are let down and left alone, we can begin to tackle thought patterns that leave us defeated. By tackling these in a real and practical way we can avoid the extra level of understandable pain that is perpetuated by us still seeing ourselves through the eyes of abusive statements or what we have internalised as what we ‘should’ be capable of. 

By sieving through the well meaning roles, advice and values others have impressed on us we are left with a clearer understanding of what makes Us, US. What our intrinsic worth actual is away from this barter system we are conditioned with. By rediscovering or getting really clear on what we are really motivated and inspired by can give us a clarity that has the power to help us only allow the right things for us into our life. This is helpful particularly with the ramification of emotional cycles of upset and stress keeping our body in a flare up.

You need a certain level of emotional resilience to battle the onslaught of well meaning professionals who have little or no experience of the relentlessness of long term pain.  This emotional resilience HAS to be automatic if it is to be sustainable. By knowing you inner landscape, your inner personal language and knowing KNOWING your worth is not tied to your usefulness to others, resilience is easier to muster.   With the understanding of this internal landscape you can then go forward and naturally start shaping a life you find more nourishing.

Here are some reasons why Spiritual Life Coaching can help deal with long-term pain conditions.

Emotions equal chemicals and hormones. I am not for one second saying that by becoming a 'positive' person will get rid of the condition, but understanding your inner emotional landscape can reduce the cycle of body unfriendly chemicals perpetuating a flare of pain.   

Pain can leave us feeling lost or just feeling that we are not living our best life. Adjusting your inner critics attitude to your physical reality can mean less emotional backlash from a physical pain experience. 

Adjusting so we are not living in accordance with other people's ideas of what we or our life 'should be' and getting clear on what our life actually is, reduces the ramifications of guilt, frustration, disappointment etc.

Understanding and making our mind and body a 'safe space' for us to deal with the condition.   

Recognising and letting go of of old modes of thought that are not working for us. 

Learning to see, acknowledge, honor the information our body is telling us through pain. Treating the pain as a clear instruction to rest etc 

 Knowing what we are 'likely' to be able to cope with so we can avoid emotional habits and over doing it. 

Becoming your own cheerleader and supporter.  Creating a safe, non judgemental, understanding space so you can reenforce the things about you that are awesome. 

What is the difference between Counselling and spiritual coaching in relation to dealing with a long-term condition?